Gender
What does gender mean for your kid?
Children are often taught gender cues from a very early early age. Even if their perspective on gender is broad, they will often pick up cues on what are "girl" things and what are "boy" things. However, some kids don’t associate with either male or female gender expression in things like clothing, toys, or activities. For other children, their assigned gender might differ completely from the gender they identify with -- making them feel trapped or anxious. It is ok to feel anxious or to have questions yourself regarding this subject, so seek out information and help from professionals when it comes to supporting a kid who may feel different to their assigned gender.
Actions to start a conversation
Start by noting that even though our society sometimes likes to define things for "boys" and "girls," those rules don't always work for everyone. Make sure you say that there is no one right way to be a boy or a girl — note that some kids aren't comfortable being seen as a boy or a girl.
Actions to do while listening
Ask how long your kid has been feeling this way, and ask what it has been like to feel the way they have. Remember not to conflate gender identity (one's personal sense of feeling male/female) with sex (biological features) or sexual orientation (to whom one is attracted). Always express gratitude that your kid is sharing what they have been feeling and make sure that you are being supportive of the way they feel.
Actions to understand
Ask your kid gently if they've encountered any hateful behavior as a result of their gender questioning. Ask if there's anything else you should know, and if there's anyone they've felt comfortable talking to about their gender questions. Ask what you can do to be helpful.