Loneliness

What does loneliness mean for your child?

Loneliness can come from rejection, from feeling different, or from lacking the tools to make genuine connections. It's painful and isolating, but can be overcome by talking about their emotions and addressing the particulars of whatever it is makes them feel alone.

Actions to start a conversation
Kids can feel lonely when they feel disconnected from important adults in their lives, or wish they were more connected to their peers. To get a conversation going about loneliness:
  • Openly acknowledge that sometimes kids can feel lonely.
  • Ask your kid if they wished they had more closeness or company in their life.
  • Ask your kid if there’s anything you can do to help your kid build new connections or strengthen old ones.
Actions to do while listening
Kids can feel ashamed about feeling lonely - they can wonder if it’s their fault that they don’t have the closeness they want. To listen effectively to your kid, be mindful of the shame they might be feeling. Empathize with their feelings of loneliness and acknowledge that everyone feels lonely at times. Understand that your kid will feel less lonely immediately if they can talk openly with you about their lonely feelings. Steer clear of suggesting that your kid might be to blame for his or her loneliness while asking what might be getting in the way of having the connections they long for.
Actions to understand
Everyone needs different levels of social support. Some kids require a great deal of social contact to feel satisfied, others need very little. There’s not one “right” amount of company - it will come down to individual need.
Kids (and adults) can have a lot of company and still feel lonely. And they can have very little company and feel satisfied. Feeling adequately connected tends to come down to:
  • Having someone to tell worries to.
  • Having someone to tell secrets to.
  • Having a person or a group who helps one to feel connected and accepted.