Racism and Xenophobia

What do experiences with racism look like for your kid?

Children might experience or witness racism or xenophobia because of the color of their skin, birthplace, native language, culture or religion. It's difficult to shield our children from discrimination or hate crimes, particularly as they become prevalent in the news or on social media. While every child will cope differently, it's important to understand that children might be afraid that their families - or even themselves - might become victims to the violence they see on TV and online.

By having a frank conversation with your child, you can help to validate their feelings, acknowledge how racism or xenophobia might affect them, and help them to cope when they are confronted with racism. It is just as important, if not more, to educate children who might not necessarily be confronted with racism to not perpetuate violence and to hold other children who do, accountable for their actions by speaking to a parent, teacher, or guardian.

Actions to start a conversation
Ask your kid directly about their experiences with racist behavior. It's helpful to share your own experiences with racism, and talk about how it made you feel. It's important to be able to help your kid develop a vocabulary for feelings that arise during experiences with racism — these may include things like "humiliation," "anger," or "sadness."
Actions to do while listening
Try to stay calm. Don't leave your kid feeling that they need to minimize what occurred to protect your feelings. After listening carefully and fully, ask if it would be helpful to talk through strategies for dealing with racist behavior. Also, make it known that there are legions of people who believe in social justice and who are continuously fighting for equality. There is some comfort in knowing that there are communities of heroes who do believe in doing the right thing and that they themselves can become a part of that community.
Actions to understand
Ask if there's anything more you should know, or how your kid feels about how they responded in the moment. Ask if there's anything that would've made the situation better for the child (for example, maybe a peer or adult could have stepped in).